Okay, let me just begin by saying.....I am not a freak and I am not a bitch.......there I said it.
When I got a phone call from my almost fiance (a long time ago ex by the way) I wanted to jump out of my window and break my skull....yeah i know..painful suicide, but unfortunately I thought about my cars and the fact that i have no will.....and thought better of it. Out of all the boyfriends I've ever had (and trust me ..i haven't had a lot) he's the only one i ever had second thoughts over..and its bad enough that I'm the one who dumped him. Well, to cut the long story short, i still kinda love him and he left me message telling me that I'm invited to his wedding and he didn't hesitate to add that i'll love his daughter Hailey when I meet her. I hate men! Every single one of them....well except from my hair stylist and the guy who make my coffee at Starbucks..he's so sweet...
so with that message playing in my head in disbelief, i changed into my sweats, pulled my hair into a ponytail on top of my head and did what i do best when I'm depressed....bake enough cookies to fill an entire bakeshop for three months. I can't remember how long i was baking for but i bet it was long time because i was on another batch when Van stormed into my front door,
"where the hell have you....."
she stopped short staring at me as I cracked an egg.
"L, what's wrong?"
"nothing"
"don't tell me nothing, somethings definitely wrong, I'm calling them now"
she said as she whipped up her phone and started speed dialing.
"don't you guys have jobs, or work to do?"
"no honey, it's Sunday but obviously you don't know that do you? You've probably been baking since last week, considering all the flour you've used"
that's when I looked around and found out that i've used eight packs of flour
"you could probably feed an orphanage with that"
even more, I thought as i looked at all the already cooled cookies that i saved in my biggest pot, and realized it was beginning to overflow.
"did you fall into a pan of cake batter?"
Brit said as she strolled into my kitchen, with a quick look around she gave me a look of great concern
"what happened?"
"can't a girl bake cookies in peace?"
"what happened L?"
"nothing"
"don't lie to us L, we know you only do this when you're depressed"
Daisy said as she took a bite of one of my cookies
"and they taste pretty good too, what's this? macadamia?"
"remember what happened last time you did this?"
Jessica reminded me, oh how could I forget
"oh that was priceless, she made so much that we had to deliver batches to churches and three different Salvation Army branches"
Daisy said laughing her ass off. I winced. Deciding this was going nowhere, I told them.
Jess spoke up first
"oh, what a bastard! He had the guts to call you after three years?"
then Van
"how did he even get your number?"
then Brit
"let's crash his wedding"
"really Brit?"
i said in disbelief
"yeah, why not?"
"can we at least be practical?"
Brit said
"you guys can stop over reacting.......it was just an invitation"
but of course they wouldn't listen, acting as if i wasn't even there, they were having a meeting. finally after some hours, i sent them home with an x-large bowl of cookies each and i thought of what to do next.
17.7.09
Oh how I hate them.........
Okay, so after i finished my normal morning ritual (which also includes avoiding my mum's relationship suggestions...does she realize that this isnt the 70's when all you had to do was ride a scooter and meet someone....), i wore my most flattering casual outfit which was my fushia fitted Ralph Lauren polo shirt with my white skinnies and thought I looked awesome..... i mean i checked myself in the mirrior and i wore purple flats. I mean it could be worse and i did look good with my hair up in a classic-flair ponytail that I copied from and issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.
Then my door bell rang only to see Daisy carefully scruitinizing me and then with a sigh she muttered
'so this is what we have to deal with?'
and I just stared at her like someone just stabbed me with my jaw hanging in disbelief.
'you can close your mouth now honey'
then it closed.
Pulling me out of my house, she took the keys from me and look my front door and set my security code.
she's stayed over a couple of times and plus I know she isn't going to rob me. just saying that in benefit of those who nare wondering why.
so after being thrown into her car ( it's not like I forced her to do this, I'm the victim here.) we finally pulled up on Sunset Boulevard, where all her favorite stores are. Still in a daze I walked in to see the rest of the crew and Brit sucking on a straw out of a McDonalds' cup.
'let's get busy people' Van finally said breaking me out of my trance.
Before I knew it, I was dragged around like a dog from one person to another and only God knows how many outfits i had to try on, even some weird green tent, that Van proclaimed was a fashion do. I'd rather camp in it than wear it.
Then finally after God knows how many hours....I was finnaly dropped back at my front door with my keys dropped into my hands and didn't realize untill I heard the roar of an engine and saw rearlights disappearing. I looked around and noticed that I had about eight different shopping bags, wow i didn't think they would be me a whole new wardrobe.
Opened my front door, to the blinking lights of my answering machine and checked my email to find out that Van had already sent me email describing each outfit and what goes with what. i'll probably check that tomorrow.
going through my messages, it went on and on until the last message..........OMG!
Then my door bell rang only to see Daisy carefully scruitinizing me and then with a sigh she muttered
'so this is what we have to deal with?'
and I just stared at her like someone just stabbed me with my jaw hanging in disbelief.
'you can close your mouth now honey'
then it closed.
Pulling me out of my house, she took the keys from me and look my front door and set my security code.
she's stayed over a couple of times and plus I know she isn't going to rob me. just saying that in benefit of those who nare wondering why.
so after being thrown into her car ( it's not like I forced her to do this, I'm the victim here.) we finally pulled up on Sunset Boulevard, where all her favorite stores are. Still in a daze I walked in to see the rest of the crew and Brit sucking on a straw out of a McDonalds' cup.
'let's get busy people' Van finally said breaking me out of my trance.
Before I knew it, I was dragged around like a dog from one person to another and only God knows how many outfits i had to try on, even some weird green tent, that Van proclaimed was a fashion do. I'd rather camp in it than wear it.
Then finally after God knows how many hours....I was finnaly dropped back at my front door with my keys dropped into my hands and didn't realize untill I heard the roar of an engine and saw rearlights disappearing. I looked around and noticed that I had about eight different shopping bags, wow i didn't think they would be me a whole new wardrobe.
Opened my front door, to the blinking lights of my answering machine and checked my email to find out that Van had already sent me email describing each outfit and what goes with what. i'll probably check that tomorrow.
going through my messages, it went on and on until the last message..........OMG!
6.7.09
Friends.......who needs them...
Is it a crime if your mother is still your alarm at my age?? (ok, well don't answer that cause I already know what you would say....) well it's not my fault that I have a mother who cares... ok maybe a bit too much, like when she called me today, after the usual morning ritual. She began telling me about how she's so lucky to have met my dad and that she's the happiest woman alive and all that crap...is being single a crime??? and then she made it worse by telling me she has ties with the producer of the bachelor and the bachelorette or whateva the female version is called. Is my life that sad? Angry with her for even suggesting that, I hung up on her and then Daisy called
'five of us are having lunch today at Steffan's, got that?' sometimes I wonder what she's doing as an accountant...she should be in the military.
'yes ma'am, I would see you by two, k? love you'
Finally after getting myself into the shower and out, I made myself my usual breakfast....yougurt, berries and granola. I hate it but but sexiness is a pain in the ass to get. Work was as disturbing as usual, I had the usual doped up clients telling me about their paparazzi issue and the other lazy ass ones who are going out business but are still looking for a way to make the few bucks they could get. I believe I deserve an award or something, and no I'm not full of myself I'm just saying that I deserve something for all the crap I've been through, with all the drama and stuff. You know like a humanitarian award or something...
Finally it was two o'clock, you could not understand my dread....when four of those girls come together for something its either for some distructive policy or something stupid like hooking me up with a date, scary.........
I arrived and saw all of them in a semi- circle formation and took my seat in the middle....you should have seen my face, I was terrified!
' so what did you plan this time', I said tryin not to show my fear.....cause these guys can do anything.....
'oh, take a chill pill hon, we're not planning your homicide or something we just wanted to give you a talk'
Jessica said taking a sip of her sweet tea.
I guess that was Daisy's cue to talk, cause after that she placed her coffee cup back in the saucer and looked at me
'you know we love you and because of that we have decided to take matters into our own hands'
WHAT!!!!
I guess they saw my expression cause that's when Brittaney spoke up
'don't give me that look, we just wanted to help you. Your the only one out of all of us wo hasn't had a date in four years'
That long???? How did I survive?
'and we were thinking about your life style and what you that turns guys off and we came down to four things and the first is you sense of style'
How many insults in one day???
and I bet you guys can guess who said this,
'it's for your own good, we'll pick you up tomorrow at 11 and you better be ready.' and without a pause she picked up her fork and said 'can we have dessert now?'
'five of us are having lunch today at Steffan's, got that?' sometimes I wonder what she's doing as an accountant...she should be in the military.
'yes ma'am, I would see you by two, k? love you'
Finally after getting myself into the shower and out, I made myself my usual breakfast....yougurt, berries and granola. I hate it but but sexiness is a pain in the ass to get. Work was as disturbing as usual, I had the usual doped up clients telling me about their paparazzi issue and the other lazy ass ones who are going out business but are still looking for a way to make the few bucks they could get. I believe I deserve an award or something, and no I'm not full of myself I'm just saying that I deserve something for all the crap I've been through, with all the drama and stuff. You know like a humanitarian award or something...
Finally it was two o'clock, you could not understand my dread....when four of those girls come together for something its either for some distructive policy or something stupid like hooking me up with a date, scary.........
I arrived and saw all of them in a semi- circle formation and took my seat in the middle....you should have seen my face, I was terrified!
' so what did you plan this time', I said tryin not to show my fear.....cause these guys can do anything.....
'oh, take a chill pill hon, we're not planning your homicide or something we just wanted to give you a talk'
Jessica said taking a sip of her sweet tea.
I guess that was Daisy's cue to talk, cause after that she placed her coffee cup back in the saucer and looked at me
'you know we love you and because of that we have decided to take matters into our own hands'
WHAT!!!!
I guess they saw my expression cause that's when Brittaney spoke up
'don't give me that look, we just wanted to help you. Your the only one out of all of us wo hasn't had a date in four years'
That long???? How did I survive?
'and we were thinking about your life style and what you that turns guys off and we came down to four things and the first is you sense of style'
How many insults in one day???
and I bet you guys can guess who said this,
'it's for your own good, we'll pick you up tomorrow at 11 and you better be ready.' and without a pause she picked up her fork and said 'can we have dessert now?'
My life in a semi-nutshell.........
I just realized how rude I was for not giving the intro.
Well.......I'm 28 years old trying to make a living in this country as an entertainment lawyer, I'm single and loving it(ok, well not really) and I can say well done for. Okay bout the physical stuff, I'm not gonna lie and tell you that i have long blond hair, a perfect shape, and say i work out( cause i haven't seen a gym in three years; not that i don't try to, i really do.) like all those other people do. I'm the normal girl next door brunette and i love , absolutely love shopping for anything even cars. I guess that's why I have three I haven't even driven yet. As for relationships....I've had only two surprisingly long , stable ones and when I say long I mean six months max except Lucas which was a make up and break up relationship and what else.....oh yeah I have four best friends: Vanessa (Van), Daisy, Jessica and Brittaney. At first we didn't think it would work out but we're still friends even after graduating from college six years ago.
Van is a creative manager for a clothing line, Daisy is an accountant, Jessica is a lawyer just like me but she's the shy type of person and became a solicitor instead, surprisingly she was the first one to get married and Brittaney is Brittaney, she owns her own little cafe on the corner of Rodeo Drive and she's doing pretty good for someone who woke up one morning and said she wanted to own a cafe. We thought she was crazy until the day we saw Johnny Depp and his friend having espressos and she's been a hit since then.
What else did forget?............ yeah, I have a mum, a dad and a dog name Trixie. My parents live in New Jersey, I still don't know why they're still living in that boring place. And every time my mom calls it's always the same thing 'when are you ever going to get married and settle down and give me grandchildren' what do I look like? a child manufacturing company? and every time I tell her that I'm not ready for all that right now she starts giving me the talk about how I'll be lonely with cats as my best friends. Like that's not sad enough...... so back to what happened last time.........
I got to my office to see him sitting there with a huge ass grin on his face.
'What do you want Lucas?' I said placing my bag on my desk.
'Can't you say hello? or we that bad?' he said with that legendary sexy lopsided smile on his face. But that's not going to work out this time. No way.
'Again, in case you didn't get it the first time what do want?'
'Well since you want to be bitchy I guess I'll just lay it down. My client is suing your client, for illegal copyright. So I just wanted to say it'll be fun seeing you in court.'
and I was going to give this guy a second chance........
'But before we become enemies do you want to catch a bite to eat with me later, it's been a long time since we've talked'
Hell no
'Um, I'm busy perhaps some other time' I said walking towards the door 'I'll see you around then..in court'
With a look of disappointment he walked to the door.
Why do I always go after jerks?
Well.......I'm 28 years old trying to make a living in this country as an entertainment lawyer, I'm single and loving it(ok, well not really) and I can say well done for. Okay bout the physical stuff, I'm not gonna lie and tell you that i have long blond hair, a perfect shape, and say i work out( cause i haven't seen a gym in three years; not that i don't try to, i really do.) like all those other people do. I'm the normal girl next door brunette and i love , absolutely love shopping for anything even cars. I guess that's why I have three I haven't even driven yet. As for relationships....I've had only two surprisingly long , stable ones and when I say long I mean six months max except Lucas which was a make up and break up relationship and what else.....oh yeah I have four best friends: Vanessa (Van), Daisy, Jessica and Brittaney. At first we didn't think it would work out but we're still friends even after graduating from college six years ago.
Van is a creative manager for a clothing line, Daisy is an accountant, Jessica is a lawyer just like me but she's the shy type of person and became a solicitor instead, surprisingly she was the first one to get married and Brittaney is Brittaney, she owns her own little cafe on the corner of Rodeo Drive and she's doing pretty good for someone who woke up one morning and said she wanted to own a cafe. We thought she was crazy until the day we saw Johnny Depp and his friend having espressos and she's been a hit since then.
What else did forget?............ yeah, I have a mum, a dad and a dog name Trixie. My parents live in New Jersey, I still don't know why they're still living in that boring place. And every time my mom calls it's always the same thing 'when are you ever going to get married and settle down and give me grandchildren' what do I look like? a child manufacturing company? and every time I tell her that I'm not ready for all that right now she starts giving me the talk about how I'll be lonely with cats as my best friends. Like that's not sad enough...... so back to what happened last time.........
I got to my office to see him sitting there with a huge ass grin on his face.
'What do you want Lucas?' I said placing my bag on my desk.
'Can't you say hello? or we that bad?' he said with that legendary sexy lopsided smile on his face. But that's not going to work out this time. No way.
'Again, in case you didn't get it the first time what do want?'
'Well since you want to be bitchy I guess I'll just lay it down. My client is suing your client, for illegal copyright. So I just wanted to say it'll be fun seeing you in court.'
and I was going to give this guy a second chance........
'But before we become enemies do you want to catch a bite to eat with me later, it's been a long time since we've talked'
Hell no
'Um, I'm busy perhaps some other time' I said walking towards the door 'I'll see you around then..in court'
With a look of disappointment he walked to the door.
Why do I always go after jerks?
When Your Past Haunts.........
Today, Van and I went out to check the state of my car at the mechanics' when my phone rang. Checking the caller ID I found out it was Lucas, the guy I broke up with last year October.
We went out for two years until I found out that for him having sex with my assistant was way much better than spending any time with me.
It would have been terrific if I just broke up with him knowing that he only cheated on me once but nooo, he had to blow it by telling me how he's been doing that since last year February. How smooth was that? but we don't have a love and hate relationship and as for my assistant, I fired her and he dumped her two weeks after we broke up. Broke and dumped isn't that amazing. Karma is a bitch honey..... but don't get me wrong I'm a wonderful person, just don't mess with me.
"What is it this time L?' Van said from beside me.
"Nothing just the usual, i hope your okay.....call if you need anything......blah"
"If you ask me I think he's still kinda hooked on you"
"As if"
"Just saying hun"
"Well he broke up with me and we both decided it was the best thing"
"Whatever you say"
I got out of the car and walked up to Brandon the only guy i can ever trust with all my babies.
"L, you made it on time" he said rolling out from under a beat up minivan
"of course I did! I missed him"
" you're the only person I know who calls their ride a he"
"I'm female I can't call it a she. It doesn't sound right"
"well, I finished it last night and now your baby's ready to run, I'll mail you the bill"
"as always"
Getting into my car felt like bliss. Told van I'd see her at our girls night tonight at Verachi's and drove straight to work. I kept thinking bout Lucas on the drive back, he did say he wanted to meet up for lunch. And I can't because of the feelings that I still have for him and don't hate me I'm only human. A girl can give second chances, can't she?
I was buzzed out of my thoughts when my phone rang
" L"
"Hey, it's Jess. Guess who just walked into the office"
"Couldn't it wait till I got there?"
"It's Lucas, you better be ready"
As if that didn't alert me enough
"thanks Jess, I'll be there soon, tell him to wait"
He better have a good explanation..........or maybe its my turn to speak my mind. Just like I said before, I can give second chances right?
We went out for two years until I found out that for him having sex with my assistant was way much better than spending any time with me.
It would have been terrific if I just broke up with him knowing that he only cheated on me once but nooo, he had to blow it by telling me how he's been doing that since last year February. How smooth was that? but we don't have a love and hate relationship and as for my assistant, I fired her and he dumped her two weeks after we broke up. Broke and dumped isn't that amazing. Karma is a bitch honey..... but don't get me wrong I'm a wonderful person, just don't mess with me.
"What is it this time L?' Van said from beside me.
"Nothing just the usual, i hope your okay.....call if you need anything......blah"
"If you ask me I think he's still kinda hooked on you"
"As if"
"Just saying hun"
"Well he broke up with me and we both decided it was the best thing"
"Whatever you say"
I got out of the car and walked up to Brandon the only guy i can ever trust with all my babies.
"L, you made it on time" he said rolling out from under a beat up minivan
"of course I did! I missed him"
" you're the only person I know who calls their ride a he"
"I'm female I can't call it a she. It doesn't sound right"
"well, I finished it last night and now your baby's ready to run, I'll mail you the bill"
"as always"
Getting into my car felt like bliss. Told van I'd see her at our girls night tonight at Verachi's and drove straight to work. I kept thinking bout Lucas on the drive back, he did say he wanted to meet up for lunch. And I can't because of the feelings that I still have for him and don't hate me I'm only human. A girl can give second chances, can't she?
I was buzzed out of my thoughts when my phone rang
" L"
"Hey, it's Jess. Guess who just walked into the office"
"Couldn't it wait till I got there?"
"It's Lucas, you better be ready"
As if that didn't alert me enough
"thanks Jess, I'll be there soon, tell him to wait"
He better have a good explanation..........or maybe its my turn to speak my mind. Just like I said before, I can give second chances right?
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