12.2.11

Cable is actually the root of all evil......(cont.)

"Yeah, I can see that.."
"you know, sometimes i regret ever hiring you. If I needed a mother and housekeeper i could have just hired Van"
"Whatever, you still love me anyways" she sang as she dropped my schedule on my desk with some other files i didn't want to acknowledge.

So I went through the whole day by auto smiling, I probably smiled in court today as my client was being accused and probably smiled through all my swearing at the record company producer. But the tip on the iceberg of my beautiful day was when I was at lunch with one of my clients who is so confused about his life. Never met anyone more pathetic in my life (well except for me, but i'm special). Yes, I know you're waiting to hear who it is and yes, i'm telling. it's the famous Marcus Watson! Yes the guy whom every guy wants to be like. He may look cool, calm and collected but once you get to know him.....you don't even want to know.
Two weeks ago I saved his ass  by helping him organize a press conference for the case of sexual harassment from his backstage dancer, I even wrote his speech for him! and now how does he repay me? Yeah, by sending me a freaking snow globe of the old Twin Towers in my office!!
And now you know what? He needs me! and you know what for? for being a stupid ass! He and Celine Dion were working in the same studio but they both went on a lunch break around the same time. while every normal person would have had LUNCH or maybe just sat around and chilled a bit, he had to be special by bring out his liter flask of Jack Daniels. Way to go! And then he walked into the studio drunk and instead of going to his booth he went to Celine's therefore starting singing her lyrics in his tune and the producer liked it so much better than the original but to Celine it meant war. (Don't ask me how it happened...) So now she's suing him for stealing her song even though we explained it to her she still didn't want to listen. I never thought I'll see the day I would be fighting against a Canadian. And my job here is......? Making him look good in court even though he is the biggest fool on earth. And I love Celine! I have all her albums even when she was thirteen!! and I have no idea how French works!

So I guess you can say my day went super fantastic!

But, then I got home and it got even worse. I went straight to my fridge because i was starving and as usual there was nothing in it. So I had to force myself to get in the car to go buy some groceries. So still in my work clothes and heels, i was at the produce section when this guy walked right past me. At first it was his cologne that hit (I love men that wear cologne!), then it was his hair, then when he turned around he was so beautiful and then he was looking at me! Not only was he just looking at me but he was looking at me with the look that says 'I'm-looking-at-you-but-i-don't-want-you-to-know-I-am-looking-at-you'. And he had those blue eyes too!..sigh...But alas, he wasn't looking at me because he said (with an Australian accent!!) that  I should probably look at my crisp white shirt and there it was, right in the middle, this medium sized blob of crusty spaghetti sauce from lunch..so i basically had that on me all day.....ewww.... So in my humiliation I said a thank you and walked away but at least I left with some dignity because I think he was checking out my legs....


5.2.11

Cable is actually the root of all evil.....

So I was sitting at my desk, scraping the bottom of my third McDonald's yogurt parfait when my intercom beeped.
"What is it Jess?" I asked
"Just wanted to give a review of your schedule today, are you ready"
If my paycheck wasn't a necessity I would have said no but hey! I'm still paying for my new Mercedes.
"Bring it on"
"Coming right over" she said then hung up.

The worst part of it all is that i'm so depressed today. My mun would tell me to get over it and find myself a man but i don't need my my mom telling me what to do! Well, ever since that wedding (God that almost killed me) I've been looking at my friends, co-workers, employees and I can't help but feel left out you know, like why is everyone else finding someone except from me Don't i deserve love too?(don't answer that). You know  what my mom said this time? she said I should audition to be on Tough Love! and i was like hell no! as if the Bachelorette isn't bad enough....(for those of you who don't know what these shows are, Google it then you would understand where i'm coming from....especially Tough Love....)
I think it's because she just recently got HD cable, she thinks she knows everything now. even worse, she thinks she can cook just because she watches the Food Network now....hahahahahaha!

"So here it is, Mark Lewinsky needs you to help him out with the case of the Mobil worker suing him for assault and rape charges. Also Sarah Chaplin needs to talk to about her album cover, claiming that it wasn't what she signed for and for the grand finale, how are you this morning since i can see you are on your fourth parfait right now?"
If only she knew how close i am to starring on Tough Love.....
"It's just one of those days"....yeah right.