So here I am, waiting at the terminal for Fleur (Daisy's mom, now that i think about it, i think they have a thing for flowers in their family) when this four year old screaming about something not having sprinkles in it to her mom stopped right in front and threw her ice cream at my boots!!!! and they were suede!!!!! then to make it worse her mom comes pulling her away saying 'that's not how to tell someone their shoes are ugly honey'....seriously!!!
and when i thought i couldn't be frustrated any longer here comes Fleur with like a ship load of bags and practically throwing them at my feet!...(what's up with everyone and my feet today?)
"oh L, darling it's been so long' she said as she air kissed my cheeks and then she backed away eyeing me up and down "Please don't tell me your starving yourself, your weight should be the least of your worries" she said in a way that meant 'compared to the rest of your body'
do it for Daisy, do it for Daisy, do it for Daisy i kept telling myself....
"how are you Fleur, you're looking better than ever"
"oh you noticed, good you did cause that grapefruit treatment burned my eyes for days...son much for $400"
"oh"
"you should try it sometime..i think you need" she said as she turned around. I'm going to kill someone and she's old so it wont be that hard.
"so where is your car, i'm so tired"
you wouldn't be when i tie your head to my bumper and drive you around Los Angeles till you die....
wow, didn't know i had that in me.....
"right this way" i said i was thinking to myself..this is going to be a long week.....
So my house is only 30 minutes away from the airport but every twist and turn i made was not good enough for her. i was always too sharp, too slow, almost killed us, would get runned over if i moved any slower. after 30 minutes minutes of torture i finally got home and let me say that I've never felt happier!
"L" she said as I hauled the fourth suitcase inside "where is my room?"
no, oh L is that suitcase too haevy for you, let me help you with that..
"right this way"
i opened the door to the guest room i had prepared for her and all she did was go around it like some obnoxious dog feeling the sheets, probably to make sure it wasn't anything under 600 thread count.
'if i need anything else from i shall give you a ring".....okay, did she just tell me she would give me a ring..what the hell am I? her butler!!!
"uhh..sure, is there anything in particular you want for dinner?' i asked just to be nice, you know.. WWJD
"No offense darling but if i happen to recall the last time you cooked something I contracted salmonella, i suppose we could dine out but then i wouldn't want you to spend money on expensive food when you would probably need it to eat next week" she said with her probably semi-plastic nose in the air.
okay that was just mean, for the record its not my fault her organic eggs failed her and plus it was a damn good chocolate custard!....you just felt really bad afterwards.......
"you know what you're right, i really wouldn't be able to afford to eat at your fancy restaurants cause my paycheck is just so small, living paycheck to paycheck is just so hard..thanks for your concern"
then she walked over to me patting my back "i can imagine how hard it is, you poor child" and with that she patted my cheek and closed the door....
you know i should have asked for $800 or maybe $1000 at least that would partially buy back half of my dignity
and when i thought i couldn't be frustrated any longer here comes Fleur with like a ship load of bags and practically throwing them at my feet!...(what's up with everyone and my feet today?)
"oh L, darling it's been so long' she said as she air kissed my cheeks and then she backed away eyeing me up and down "Please don't tell me your starving yourself, your weight should be the least of your worries" she said in a way that meant 'compared to the rest of your body'
do it for Daisy, do it for Daisy, do it for Daisy i kept telling myself....
"how are you Fleur, you're looking better than ever"
"oh you noticed, good you did cause that grapefruit treatment burned my eyes for days...son much for $400"
"oh"
"you should try it sometime..i think you need" she said as she turned around. I'm going to kill someone and she's old so it wont be that hard.
"so where is your car, i'm so tired"
you wouldn't be when i tie your head to my bumper and drive you around Los Angeles till you die....
wow, didn't know i had that in me.....
"right this way" i said i was thinking to myself..this is going to be a long week.....
So my house is only 30 minutes away from the airport but every twist and turn i made was not good enough for her. i was always too sharp, too slow, almost killed us, would get runned over if i moved any slower. after 30 minutes minutes of torture i finally got home and let me say that I've never felt happier!
"L" she said as I hauled the fourth suitcase inside "where is my room?"
no, oh L is that suitcase too haevy for you, let me help you with that..
"right this way"
i opened the door to the guest room i had prepared for her and all she did was go around it like some obnoxious dog feeling the sheets, probably to make sure it wasn't anything under 600 thread count.
'if i need anything else from i shall give you a ring".....okay, did she just tell me she would give me a ring..what the hell am I? her butler!!!
"uhh..sure, is there anything in particular you want for dinner?' i asked just to be nice, you know.. WWJD
"No offense darling but if i happen to recall the last time you cooked something I contracted salmonella, i suppose we could dine out but then i wouldn't want you to spend money on expensive food when you would probably need it to eat next week" she said with her probably semi-plastic nose in the air.
okay that was just mean, for the record its not my fault her organic eggs failed her and plus it was a damn good chocolate custard!....you just felt really bad afterwards.......
"you know what you're right, i really wouldn't be able to afford to eat at your fancy restaurants cause my paycheck is just so small, living paycheck to paycheck is just so hard..thanks for your concern"
then she walked over to me patting my back "i can imagine how hard it is, you poor child" and with that she patted my cheek and closed the door....
you know i should have asked for $800 or maybe $1000 at least that would partially buy back half of my dignity
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